By Kerri Zane
Having been a single mom for the last 13 years I have had my fair share of trial and error dating. Some liaisons were great fun, others painfully uncomfortable. But with each encounter I learned what it is I want and don’t want in a forever partner. Each experience helped me devise my “Five-Finger Approach” to finding true love. It is outlined in my book, ``It Takes all 5: A Single Mom’s Guide for Finding The REAL One.
Each finger of the five-finger approach represents a key quality that is important to single moms in finding ultimate true love this time around, or in other words your “REAL One”.
Why five fingers?
When you are holding hands with a man and you lock two fingers together your hold can easily break apart, same for three and four fingers. But when you lace all five fingers together it is a rock solid invincible hold. Why The REAL One? Because when you join together with this man he will be not just “the one,” but the REAL deal! Your last best, Happily Even After, man. Don’t fret if a guy you’ve met doesn’t immediately fill your five fingers approach like a glove right away. A five fingers relationship is a work in progress.
Here Are The Criteria
First Finger – Physical
As a more mature adult women and single mom the physical attraction in a mate becomes less about the physical surface and more about his physical substance. Your potential REAL one should take care of his health and wellbeing. He should be financially secure and monetarily responsible dad to his children or grandpa to his grandchildren. All this is not to say that chemistry is a moot concern just let your subliminal self be your guide in that department.
Second Finger – Spiritual
This characteristic goes beyond religion. Your spiritual compatibility includes basic values and beliefs. They range from your level of compassion, to your spirit of cooperation, tolerance of others and commitment to making a contribution to this planet.
Third Finger – Emotional
At the top of the emotional heap is trust. And trust can only come from constant authentic communication built on talking and listening. Don’t just hear his words listen to his actions and body language as well. Be completely in tune with this guy.
Fourth Finger – Mental
Your five-finger guy should be your intellectual equal. He should stimulate your mind as brilliantly as he arouses your sex organs? After all, the brain is the most powerful seductress. The two of you should be able to seamlessly spend a day in bed or on the couch engaged in an engrossing mental volley.
Fifth Finger – Sexual
Fulfilling the sexual finger is integral to all the other aspects of your relationship. If you and your potential REAL one can’t come together and bring each other the joy of an orgasm your exclusive relationship is not going endure. But that kind of purely animalistic release is only half of the fifth finger equation. It is when you are able to have sex with your clothes on, the art of lovemaking, that you’ve mastered the most important and truly elusive of the five fingers approach to finding “The REAL one”.
For single moms the second time around there is no rush to the alter. So do not settle or even just making do with a Mr. Good Enough. Go out and explore the universe of eligible men. Trust the five-finger approach to finding true love, your REAL one is waiting.